How to do the State Fair of Texas

After many years of practice, I’ve figured out the State Fair. Consider this a resource to get the most pleasure out of this month long, yearly event. Further suggestions are welcome in the comments below!
1) Purchase season pass
2) BIKE to Fair Park. Exercise is important and parking sucks. Even DART is too much.
3) Eat 1 or 2, but no more than 3, fried things. One should be new and weird, and one should be a classic (Fletchers and fried pecan pie, obviously)
4) Get cheap and decent beer at the food court in the Tower Building only if you’re trying to impress friends because fried stuff and beer shouldn’t be mixed together often this far into your 30’s.
5) Must see butter sculpture. And the crafts are kinda cool anyways.
6) Leave immediately. Over 2 hours at the Fair makes you start to hate it. And you limit your spending.
7) Come back to see animals. And that big old pig! Fried pecan pie is nearby. Plan accordingly.
8) Come back to half off rides on Tuesday. It makes a huge difference.
9) Boycott Fair Day. Not only is the odor of children is terrible, but the history of that day incredibly offensive.
10) The car buildings are your friend. They have AC and lots of in-car seating.

11) The Fair ceases to exist on TX/OU day and becomes the ninth circle of hell. Even the fabled “empty lines during the game” is a fate not worth tempting.

12) Opening Day is surprisingly not busy. Watch the pomp and circumstance and get your annual fletchers corn dog in early.

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